So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
