i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I have already put on my inside pants.
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