actually, I'm a sock model
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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