dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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