In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
