That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
