this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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