I'm jealous of your bromance
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
