everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I need a beard to bite.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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