There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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