It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
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What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
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If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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