I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You can't just leave with hair like that
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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