Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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