I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
