the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
