Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
