i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
