you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I need to stop coming to work sober
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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