i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
