I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
