We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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