I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
