You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
