don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
