im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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