i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
