Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
