That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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