Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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