i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I touched a dick in church today
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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