guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
