i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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