Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
