Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
