Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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