either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
