trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
