Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
