loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
