i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
