Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
