i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
