So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
