he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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