My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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