So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
