Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize