I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
