Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize