I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
