I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
