There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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