Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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