I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
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i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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