Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
