I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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