The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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