this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish they made helmets for livers.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
