Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
