I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize