she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so let's talk penis.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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