I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
