i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
