She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
