Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
